The Mind of E

Is it time, yet??

2011-06-07T22:52:00.000-07:00

Ever had those moments when you really just don't want to keep doing what you're doing?? Yeah, I've had LOTS of those moments lately. I know I say this a lot, but ever since Nursing school started I feel like I've lost a bit of ME! The adventurous, spontaneous, always happy Elena. I feel like I'm always tired, sometimes dragging, and just moving with the flow. I remember when we had our very first orientation we were warned, or "prepared" to be on a rollercoaster through school and that the next 2 years (and now for me, 2 and a half) would be the kind of hard you never understand until you've done it. Well, now I understand. And, its H-A-R-D. Worth it, but hard.

I miss going on random hikes with groups of friends, weekend camping trips throughout the summer, roadtrips to the beach, late nights laughing and doing whatever without worrying about needed sleep, studying, or early morning wake up calls. I guess this is what being a grown up is all about.

But- I don't want to be THAT kind of grown up. Who never has fun, and only works to live, etc. I guess this is just the phase I need to get through to get something BETTER than what I had before. Not that money can't buy happiness, but it sure helps ;)

I know this is really random, but I just had to vent. My list of adventures I want to go on just keeps getting longer. My "When I'm Done With Nursing School" Adventure list. Ahh...

Until then, I'll continue to make the most of it. I am blessed. I am healthy, I am alive. I have wonderful friends, and the most amazing family I could EVER ask for. The Lord is good to me. More than I can begin to comprehend.

May 2012, I am so excited to see you.

These are just a few places on my list. Enjoy oogling over them as I do too often:

Bali

Italy

Not sure which island, but the point is ANY island, me in THAT hammock you see right there...

Greece

Holland

Thailand

Again, not sure where this is exactly... my google search was Tahiti.

I'm going there someday...

2011-06-04T01:01:00.000-07:00

I LOVE the Mesa LDS temple. It is such a special place to me, not only because of the significance a temple means to me concerning my religion, but because of the many experiences I've had involving this specific temple.

I also love art. I love taking a white empty canvas and creating something beautiful. {but I am NO artist by any means!}I'm not the kind of artist who can sit and create something amazing out of my own imagination. I more so like to take pictures and draw them, or look at some object and draw it. Now I'm rambling...

Art and creativity run in the family. Pretty much everyone in my family can draw/paint. One of my uncles does it professionally. My aunt should do it professionally. She took a drawing class this past semester and learned the technique of using charcoal. I absolutely love black and white images, and love the art she created. I thought it would be fun to learn, so I asked her if she could teach me the basics so I could create my own picture to hang on my wall. So today I went over and in a few hours I came home with this drawing!

It was an awesome day. And I came home with smudges of charcoal all over. It was such a relaxing time, and hope to continue improving this talent!

Still need a frame though... { Don't look too closely, you'll see all my uneven lines ;) }

Pool Day

2011-05-23T00:05:00.001-07:00

I love summer for this reason:

I took care of my nephew the other day while his mom ran errands and got some things done. He is quite a character! Non-stop chatter the.whole.time. I like taking care of him, because I just LOVE my niece and nephew, and spending time with them is precious. And it helps my impatience ;)

It was windy and in the 70s that day, but he really wanted to swim. So I told him if the sun came out we'd go.. ( i wasn't excited about it since it was cold and cloudy). Sure enough, twenty min later the sun shines through! So I took him, to see how long he'd last. And he did pretty good! But since we were the ONLY ones there- for good reason- he got bored quickly. Snapped this shot after drying off. Fun times :)

Here was one of my favorite conversations with him that day:
Chuki: "who made all this?"
Me: "made all what?"
Chuki: "everything. the whole world."
Me: "well, our Father in Heaven, God, made it for us."
Chuki: "oh yeah! {moment of silence} wow, he must have worked reeeeally hard!"

It continued on listing everything he made: trees, rivers, birds, zebras, giraffes, mountains.. McDonald's... haha

So precious :)

I am a child of GOD

2011-05-22T16:29:00.000-07:00

And so are YOU!

The Water Secret

2011-05-21T16:18:00.000-07:00

I am a mess. {literally}. I've gotten myself into the worst predicament ever. And in the process I am not the only one affected. I've never been so unhappy with who I am and where I'm at as I am now. It is not only due to the situation, but also the way I view myself. The way I feel on the inside.

Ok, I know, this is getting really gushy really quickly. I don't normally like to be open about the "real" me publicly, but I will be the first to admit I am NOT perfect. Far from it, actually. However, I have decided its about time I quit beating myself up. Its about time I take care of myself, and learn to love myself. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

Since I have started nursing school, my life has been a literal roller coaster. . . daily. Its been quite the struggle, and for a while I had a setback, but am now well on my way again. Yet there is always trials. If I had to choose between fight, or flight. . . I naturally would be a "flight" type of person. At times that can be a good thing, but at times it can be cowardice. I need to push forward with a "fight" type of attitude. Committing myself to the goals I have made, and not letting anything get in the way or beating myself up along the path.
I've recently discovered two amazing friends. They never let me down, and are always there for me, the way I want to be. They don't sugar coat anything, and tell me when I need to try harder, and to never give up. They enlighten me, and help me to become a better Elena. They are called the gym, and the library. :)

Now onto the real reason I'm blogging today...

So, while at the library the other day I was looking at nursing school books when I passed by the health and fitness section. The first book I saw was called "The Water Secret". Nutrition in nursing school is a weakness of mine, I've never been great at determining which foods will help with what deficiency, etc. I also love water. And never seem to get enough of it. I thought it'd be an interesting read as I flipped through pages added it to my armful of books.

As I got home, I set the books in my designated "library book" spot on my bedroom floor. (I have way too much stuff I've acquired over the years). I picked up the book and started reading. I wanted to know the secret! Little did I know, I was opening up a book that could potentially effect the way I live my life and help redefine myself from the inside out. I haven't finished it completely, but I've read a LOT of it so far.

This book talks about our bodies from a cellular level. The ability of our cells to hold water, an essential part of our body's capacity to function. It teaches the importance of good lifestyle habits that can improve our cell's membranes to keep a hold of that water, which in turn helps our body to work like it should, keep our skin healthy, and increase the overall health INSIDE ourselves. What I like about this book is that it doesn't pinpoint only one common problem people face, or diagnose someone. What it does is help with the simple, mundane things in life that help us to "feel" better.

The body does not become hydrated by drinking 8 glasses of water a day. Of course, drinking water IS important. But if our cells aren't strong, nourished and taken care of, they will not hold the water we drink. They will absorb it, and leak it out- causing bloated bellies, swollen ankles, and puffy eyes. Leading us to really be dehydrated. This book talks about the importance of essential nutrients our bodies need, through EATING our water (read to book to find out more!) in a way that outlines what types of food will help, and why. This is NOT a "diet" book. It teaches you to eat healthy, by giving you the knowledge to make good choices on your own.

To start off they have a 15 question quiz to get an idea of where YOUR health lies. The lower the number, the more help you need. This involves diet, stress, sleep, worries, etc... (lemme tell ya, I scored pretty low). From there, it leads you to 10 very simple steps done over 10 weeks. Adding one new step at the beginning of every week. Today is my first day. This first step is "eat your water to fill up the cellular tanks". This is done simply by adding more fruit and veggies DAILY. That's all! Simple, but can have a huge effect. It also adds to avoid processed, fast and fried foods, and artificial ingredients (that one may be a little tougher).

I could go on and on and on... but I am very excited about this. I've started working out regularly, I am rediscovering my passion for reading good, uplifting books. I start up my new job on Monday, and a class that will help me through nursing school on Tuesday. I have SO much to be grateful for. I will be updating my progress on here. Whether or not anyone reads it, its more for my benefit anyway! :)

BABY STEPS. "by small and simple things are great things brought to pass." -Alma 37:6

Hey everyone!!!

2011-05-16T22:35:00.000-07:00

I've added a NEW item to my kraf-t-korner blog!

Go check it out now!

Super adorable, light weight, perfect for summer girl's skirt!

Hair Flair!

2011-04-30T12:19:00.004-07:00

I have recently taken up the hobby of making hair flowers and headbands. It has been so fun! And a HUGE stress reliever from school. I made a blog to sell them, and thought I'd let you all know about it here on my blog!

Yeah, I know I haven't written in forever. But, I plan on changing that. Well... maybe. School is almost out for the semester, and I will have a bit more free time on my hands. Hopefully that won't last too long and I will get hired somewhere for the summer.

Anyyyyyways, before I ramble on too much. Here is the link for my blog, go check it out! :)

BYU

2010-11-22T22:36:00.003-07:00

As I was sitting at the dining room table studying, my dad came in having just checked the mail. He brought a package over that was addressed to me. Being that I rarely ever get mail, let alone a package, I was super curious as to who the sender was and the contents inside.

Utah? I didn't know who from Utah would be sending me anything. Yeah, I have a lot of family and friends up there. But why would anyone send me anything?

Ah, then it comes to me. I'm opening the box and I see a BYU bag inside. I knew EXACTLY who it had come from. My friend Colton is the BIGGEST BYU fan I have ever met. He's constantly expressing his sadness that I have never been to a BYU game (nor seen one on tv) and that I have never really been a fan of them. I take out the bag and inside is my very own blue (fave color) BYU Cougars t-shirt! Just the right size too.

I guess BYU has a big game this Saturday. So Colton, you bet I'll wear my BYU shirt and send happy thoughts your way! Good luck Cougars :)

HALLOWEEN!

2010-11-22T14:15:00.008-07:00

Last year I didn't dress up for Halloween or do the usual. So this year, I made up for it. 3 different costumes. Lots of parties and dancing! SO much fun, lemme tell ya. And I had my awesome friends to party with! Again, here it is in pictures:

NIGHT #1- FHE Halloween Party - Pocahontas :)

I totally lost at this game.

Yeah, I couldn't find my bow and arrow....

Cowboy and Indian!

Mari, Sis Riggs, Me, Jessica

NIGHT #2- YSA Dance/Friend's Party/Ihop - Ballerina

This is Jen. We met when we both lived in Missouri.

Ironman was there!

He was a smarty pants, clever.

My awesome gangsta Ron and panda Dan

Ray Wells. Love this kid.

We are the THREE AMIGAS!

NIGHT #3- Family Trunk-or-Treat/Hangar Scream Party - Genie

Mari, Allie, Merit and me dancin' it up!

Yeah, we didn't get it. But I recommended him to a good rehab.

Emily and her nerd friends

Me and some family friends

Another SUCCESSFULLY fun night! :)

Conference!

2010-11-22T12:45:00.010-07:00

Ok, so because I suck at updating this thing I decided to take some time and blog about some important events from this past semester. I should probably wait three more weeks 'til I'm done with my first year of nursing school (yeehawww!). But, I'm bored right now. So here it goes :) I went up to Conference in October with some awesome amigos. We had a ton of fun! We left Thursday morning, and when we got there I accompanied a friend to a mission reunion. It was fun to meet new people, but I was definitely excited to hit the sack after driving almost the whole way and not much sleep the night before.

Meghan, Allie, Me

Friday we had lunch at Rumbi's, which is yummy! Sweet potato fries take a little getting used to, but I liked them.

After lunch, we drove up Provo Canyon and hiked up to Bridal Veil Falls. Beautiful place! My friend had directed us on how to get there, and said that it was a simple trail consisting of fairly flat switchbacks to the top. Easily done in flip flops. I guess if we would have been able to follow the real trail on the way up it would have been so... However, we did make it safely!

I def win the flexing contest!

See, hear, speak NO evil!

Isn't it beautiful?

After the hike, we got some more food and ice cream at some place I had never been before. And I still don't remember the name. We went back to my friend's apartment to relax, and then went out to a party. By then we were super tired. My wonderful aunt who was out of town let us use her home for the weekend. So we went back and crashed!

We woke up early Saturday morning and headed to SLC. We had tickets for the Saturday AM session of Conference. It was wonderful! Totally worth it. We ended up seeing the PM session in the JSMB. Again, so good. The weather was beautiful and we ended up hanging out on the grounds taking pics and relaxing in the cool grass. The flowers were so colorful and bright!

In front of the Conference Center

For some reason my GPS was being mean and wasn't working. So we got lost trying to find a certain store, and ended up finding it half an hour after closing time. Sad. However, we did make it to the highway and back home safely. For Dinner = Texas Roadhouse!!!! And yes, of course we EACH asked for our OWN box of to-go rolls, complete with the cinnamon butter. Delicious treat for the long drive home.

After dinner, I met up with some cousins and their friends to hang out. It had been almost 3 years since I had last seen them. WAY too long! However, I really missed seeing Jillyn and Sarah, who are currently serving missions. Next year they'll both be home, so it'll be great. We had fun together!

Liz and me

Kevin and Me

The AWESOME group of people

Sunday we watched the AM session in our pj's. I caught Allie and Meghan snoozing a few times... But didn't have my camera on my to prove it. We made our way out around 1 and listened to the PM session on the radio. Its not fun to do that. The static alone is enough to distract, the thunderstorms we ran into didn't help! We had a lot of fun. And I'm soooo happy we all could pull a last minute trip up there!

April 2011, we are excited for you! :)

Change

2010-04-26T10:25:00.007-07:00

"Life’s challenges and changes provide opportunities for us to grow as we exercise our agency in making righteous decisions." ---Elder Steven E. Snow

Nursing school has made its mark quite often in the last few blogs of mine. For obvious reasons, its one of the biggest parts of my life right now. Along with that has come the huge unbalanced life of mine. Its been frustrating to me, and I've tried different ways to keep it balanced. But now, I think I've figured out a way to help my craziness.
It hit me a few weeks ago in church when I came to the realization that Nursing school has taken the forefront in my life. Of course, it will take a lot of my focus, but it doesn't have to take all of my focus for me to be successful. I've started to lose touch with Elena. I don't want that anymore! So...I had an epiphany yesterday. I needed a physical outlet for all my stress, and to improve my energy throughout the week to get everything done. Dance isn't available right now, especially since I'm unemployed and it costs $$. But, I can still work out. I don't need a gym to do that... so, bring it on P90X, yoga, and running shoes! :)

The 2nd part of my new goal is to go to bed between 10-1030 on weekdays, and wake up between 6-630, allowing me time to workout, shower, eat, and study. But not just school study, scripture study. I really need to strengthen my "armor". Recently I was challenged to read the whole Book of Mormon between now and the end of August, estimating about two chapters per day. It is do-able. It will help me, and not only will it help me but it will enable me to reach outside MY circle of needs, and help meet others. I need some outward focus in my life, because it makes my problems and struggles seem more bearable and easier to overcome.

I feel good. Today was the first day of my new goals. It felt great. I wasn't rushed to get to school. I was able to focus, and I felt more awake. I'm excited. And, I just wanted to share it.

I feel so grateful to be alive. I'm grateful for a healthy body, and the opportunity to make it even healthier. I'm grateful for such an amazing family, and I can't imagine life without them. I'm grateful for all the opportunities the Lord has blessed me with, and for my Savior who's love and understanding makes life so much easier to endure.

"We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things." ---A of F 1:13

My Birthday Week!

2010-04-24T18:05:00.015-07:00

WOOHOO I'm 22!! Its so fun to get old. :)

It was a nice birthday this year. I didn't do anything extravagant, but I had my wonderful boyfriend here the WHOLE week. He lives in Missouri, so we only get to see each other every month or so. Not so fun. He got here late Monday night, so we just caught up and decided to hit the sack by midnight since I had school the next day, and I couldn't miss it!

My awesome brother Nate

My gorgeous little sister Emily

My birthday roses :)

However, Tuesday was a different story. My friend had let me borrow his kayaks, so Coty and I headed out to Canyon lake to explore. Its my favorite lake around here, and the drive itself is amazing. He isn't a fan of the desert, but he loved the lake. Can't wait to show him the Northern part of the state- its absolutely gorgeous, and he has no idea! Isn't he smokin'?! ;)We had so much fun, and I def want to invest in some kayaks. I already have a list of things I want to DO and BUY after I graduate and pay off my loans. I'm excited, and it pushes me!

I'm so glad he's strong enough to carry me!

The night before my birthday we went to dinner with Lisa and Dom. We went to Oregano's and it was soooo good. I ate too much. Coty and I shared a pizza, Pablo Picasso salad, and then the four of us shared a pizookie (sp?). Mmm... To die for.

Free Birthday Dozen :)

Yes, this is my super hot boyfriend. Chivalry at it's finest.

My mom made my birthday dinner. We had steak, cheesy potatoes, veggies, sparkling cider (my fave) and cake. Actually, we didn't end up eating my birthday cake until a few days after because everyone wanted to be together to sing, but with our conflicting schedules it just didn't happen. So I drooled over it until Sunday when I decided to just have some myself. I mean, it was MY cake. :) Anyways, the dinner was delicious. My mom is my favorite chef. She's amazing, and I love her. I love my whole family!

Mural on a wall that my oldest bro helped paint of the history of Superior.

The beginning, and end, of my modeling career. ;) haha

Wow. He sure is easy on the eyes!

Friday morning we woke up and headed out to Superior. This was the town that I grew up in for the first 11 years of my life. My tata still lives there, and that is where my parents were raised. It has a LOT of history to it. I had a blast taking Coty around and showing him all the places I went to, my old house, school, pool, softball field, among other places. He had fun, and we ended up walking around Main Street and took some pictures. I wish we had more time. I've been dying to take him up to Payson, Sedona and Show Low. That will just have to wait for the summer. His plane was scheduled to leave at 430, so once we got home from Superior we had enough time to just relax and cuddle some more before I took him to the airport. It was so fun. I wish that he lived closer. I'm grateful that he was able to miss a couple days of school to be here with me for my birthday!

--XoXo--

A little update

2010-04-24T16:42:00.007-07:00

This year has been so crazy thus far. Nursing school is simply amazing. I can't believe how much I've learned, and how much I have YET to learn! I now can safely give injections, medications, catheters, wound dressing changes... and other stuff I won't list on here :) Its been quite the experience and I've made some great friendships. Just over two weeks left, and Block 1 will be finished! I am so grateful to be in the best nursing program in Arizona. And no, I'm not biased at all. I never realized how much nursing school could change me, and its all only for the better. :)

I love to see the temple. This is my most favorite place to be. I need to make it more of a priority to get here often. I went to see the Easter Pageant this year with my family and absolutely LOVED it. It has been a few years since I've seen it from the audience side, and it was so nice. I cried almost the whole time. I don't remember ever being as emotional as I have been the past year or two. I have gained a new love for my Savior, and his sacrifice in my behalf, that has really helped me to be stronger and have more courage. I guess its part of aging and becoming a woman. :) Here's a pic from the last time I did it, in '08. I'm hoping I'll be able to participate in it at least one more time before I get too old to dance.

I also had an opportunity to attend a show put on by Tia's Royal Islanders with my sister Emily. They have a venue here in East Mesa, and do a lot of caterings and Polynesian shows around the valley. I've really been missing dance. It has always been my stress reliever and outlet from life's worries. I don't have that anymore, and I'm not feeling as good as I used to. I like exercising, but I hate doing it alone. Exercise is great, and I love it, but its not dance. So, this is an opportunity to perform again, and whenever I'm available. Also for a little bit of a cash inflow. Which is always nice :) We'll see!

I've also been getting into family history! Its been a slow start, considering Nursing school has taken the lead in my life. But, I actually have a really good head start thanks to my tia Emma. I'm very excited to get this rolling, because my dad's whole side of the family needs a LOT of work done. Its kind of a mess going a few generations back, and I hope that with the Lord's help I can find all my family. To me, its important to know my family history. I learn about those who went before me, and the family that has made it possible for me to be here today. There is so much we can learn from our ancestors. I can't wait to graduate, because one of my goals is to get my passport and head down to Mexico and do some sightseeing of places my family comes from. Here's a pic of my dad's parents, who's lines I am working on. I never met my Nana Emma, she passed away when my dad was 17. But isn't she beautiful?!

I'm now 22!!! Its insane to me how fast time flies. I had a nice birthday this year. Coty came out for my whole birthday week. We had a lot of fun, and it was so nice to see him even though I still had to go to school. He was so patient with all that I had to do, and I really miss the everyday things that we used to get to do together. He's a great guy, and I'm so grateful for all that he does for me. I'll make another post for that week, since this one is already getting long enough. I'll share one more thing, we got a new puppy! Her name is Zumba, and she is the CUTEST chihuahua I have ever seen. I'm not a fan of chihuahuas at all. They yap way too much and are so annoying, and I never thought they were cute dogs at all. Zumba is the only exception to this rule. She is small, black, energetic, and a great self-esteem booster. She loves to cuddle, and has these big floppy ears and the cutest puppy face ever. Her mom's ears are floppy too, so I'm hoping Zumba's don't go all pointy on us. I like her the way she is. Her major flaw: she bites my toes ALL the time. It's not that cute. But, I still love her. My dad is a closet puppy lover too. He won't admit it, but he is pretty selfish when it comes to cuddling with her. ;)

I Love Spring

2010-04-12T09:57:00.001-07:00

Springtime is my most favorite time of year. The weather is amazing, and everything is starting to bloom and the colors are so bright! Sadly, it doesn't last that long in Arizona before getting too warm. But I still love it :)

These were taken in Missouri this past year, but I absolutely love how bright the colors are!

FLAT IRON

2010-03-23T12:28:00.011-07:00

I went hiking over spring break up to the highest point of the Superstition Mountains! It was a lot of fun, and it was with fun company. I love doing things outdoors, but for some reason, once I commit to doing some kind of adventure, the night before I really don't feel like doing it. My thoughts are: I don't want to get up early, I'll be really tired, and it will take a long time. However, I ALWAYS end up going and I ALWAYS have fun :)

Here are some shots I'd like to share!

I love how green it was out in the desert! Spring is definitely my FAVORITE time of the year.
The shot below is from the halfway point. After this, it was our determination (aka=pride) that kept us going! It was exhausting!

This is the view from the top looking out over the whole Valley of the Sun. You can see downtown phoenix and everything! It was breathtaking. I could even ALMOST see my hometown of Superior, which is about 35 miles East of Mesa.

This is us about to head back down. the cliff you see in the background is the top of Flat Iron.

So, because I was really stupid, my shoulders got burned :/ Because it was the longest time I've spent in the sun since last summer, I didn't prepare properly. I wore a sleeveless top because yes, I DO sweat. Especially in Arizona. Especially when I hike. We didn't have any sunscreen at home, and it was a gorgeous day outside, so I just thought "I'll be fine. I don't need it"....yeah. I was wrong!

I have only been burned this bad ONCE in my life. And it is NOT fun! I bought some aloe vera gel and sat on my couch the whole rest of the day applying it to my shoulders, and it felt AMAZING!!! Not to mention, I haven't used my legs as much since Nursing school requires a large amount of sitting. And reading. YAY for sore cramping legs! :D

It was completely worth it. I LOVE the world that God has created for us. It is beautiful. Even the desert of Arizona. I'm grateful for a healthy body that allows me to participate in exploring God's creation.

I'm so sad that 13 of our state parks will be closed, or are already closed. If you want to hike Flat Iron, go before June 3rd! It is worth it. It takes a LOT out of you. But you won't regret it! :)

Ahh. I can't wait til summer break.

Nursing School!

2010-02-09T12:08:00.004-07:00

It kicks my trash. Hardcore. But I love it! I'm now in my 4th week and I just took my first test yesterday and passed it with a lovely 87.5% :) Phew! If I get through nursing school being a B student I will be thrilled!

Here's a pic of me in my uniform on my first day of clinical/lab.

It is so hard. And I've really lost ALMOST whatever I had of any social life with all my life changes recently. I have no time to do anything really. My friend advised me to make it my "pretty little girlfriend"... but since I'm a girl, I'm say my "hunky boyfriend". I have to put a TON of time and effort into it. And it keeps me from hanging out with all my friends on a regular basis. But its ok. It is worth it.

I have also been full of gratitude lately. Gratitude to my Heavenly Father, and my family. This would be SO hard to do without them. They keep me going, and support me and love me. I knew it would be hard, but at the same time I had no idea. The tender mercies of the Lord have really opened my eyes to how aware He is of me. To how much He wants to bless me and take care of me if I let Him. Its the greatest feeling in the world.

Also, the weather of AZ has made me VERY happy. These amazing clouds and blue skies have lifted my stressed out spirit. haha. I truly cannot wait to get up to the mountains and go camping once it warms up a bit. I'm a baby and hate camping in the snow and when it is really cold.

I love life!!!

My first update for 2010

2010-01-18T23:16:00.002-07:00

I've never been a very avid blog writer, but I felt like writing a little something to update anyone who cares about this blog of mine! haha

2010 is going to be full of LOTS of changes. I can feel it in the air. 2009 was amazing, and I had so many great experiences. Missouri was a blast, and I am very glad that I stepped out of my Arizona box and took that opportunity! Now, another chapter in my life is about to unfold...

I start the MCC Nursing Program tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow. Why am I online at 11:30 at night? Because I am a ridiculously insane insomniac. Since I got home in December, I haven't worked or done much of anything besides....well, nothing. I've spent the majority of my time with my family, considering all the holidays and time spent away from them. My heart melts for my niece and nephew, and I have taken care of them a lot since I've been home, and I love it! They are so adorable that I can hardly believe I will love my own children even more one day. Coty came to visit the first week of January, and that was so fun! It was neat to finally have him around my family, and show him some of my favorite places in the valley. A week was definitely not long enough, though!

Anyways, back to nursing. I am stoked. Its been a long wait for this. I had been very excited up until I attended orientation last Tuesday...then I became terrified. Ok, maybe that's a little bit of an exaggeration, but only a little bit. It is going to be dang tough, and I will have to successfully pass this semester to avoid waiting another year and a half to start over. So, please pray for me! I am trying not to worry too much, and just take each day at a time. But, I am a worrier. Always have been. So, this coming semester, I probably won't be the "funnest" person to be around. And, I really won't have a life. I will eat, sleep, and breath nursing. This is what I'm supposed to be doing though, so the Lord will help provide a way to accomplish it! A good friend reminded me today that "fear is the opposite of faith", so I am working on ridding myself of that fear! Especially since I am already having dreams/nightmares of what will come! haha.

Oh, and one thing I am VERY happy about is that I now am covered with insurance since I am a full-time student. YAY! I haven't been covered for the past almost two years, so this is great for me. :)

Ah, there's a lot more I could update everyone on. But its late and I better hit the sack. Big day tomorrow!!!

Some updates...

2009-07-29T08:49:00.003-07:00

Its been quite a while since I've updated this old blog. Ok, maybe only like 4 months... but a lot has happened! Where to start...

I enjoy my job. I get paid to dance. I guess you could say that's pretty cool. Except...when you can't call in sick. When you really are sick. That isn't so cool. I've learned a lot of different styles of dance, and this job will definitely look good on my resume. Except the chances of me pursuing future jobs like this one are very slim. I enjoy it, and I am blessed to have this opportunity to be out here, but I wouldn't choose it as my career. It is extremely demanding. And the only job this demanding I want in life is to be a wife and mom. :)

I get hungry. A lot. I am always wanting to eat something. Especially when I am bored! I love food. I guess its a really good thing I dance almost every day. Otherwise with this appetite I'd be in big trouble.

Missouri is definitely not like Arizona. It is green everywhere! You can't even walk through the forest without worrying you'll get poison ivy, ticks, or spider webs all over you. But the view is worth it. Even though humidity is a killer, I enjoy not having 115+ weather. I miss my AZ family and friends. And Costa Vida. And Jamba Juice. And camping. But... I think once I get back and summer hits, I will wish I was right back here...

Tornadoes. I hate them. That is one experience I don't care to re-live again! But the thunderstorms are wicked! When it rains here, it rains! Lots of sky pictures in my photo albums.

I've met a lot of cool people here. Missouri people are quite friendly. Rednecks are galore! Its great fun to talk with them. Oh, and there are Amish people everywhere! How they survive in this weather without A/C is one question I do not have a single answer to except- they are loco.

My family came to visit me this past week. They flew my younger sister out on the 16th of July, and the rest of them came out on the 23rd. We did a lot! I'll definitely have to save that for another blog. And add pictures. I was so happy to see them out here, and share my awesome discounts. haha. But, inevitably I was very sad to see them go again. Yes, I cried. Not only did I cry because they left, I went and saw "My Sister's Keeper" and totally bawled my eyes out. Sad movie. But really good. I am so glad they were able to make it out here! Definitely a good pick me up!

One of the worst parts about being here in Missouri, I'd have to say, is the lack of social life I have. With anyone close or familiar- family or friends. My job is demanding, like I've said before, and it really restricts the time I have to get out and meet people. Its been a blessing to get every Sunday and Monday off (because I'm stubborn and know when to say "no" to those things :). Church is my weekly revival. When I get the chance to go to FHE up in Springfield, I usually get to meet someone knew, which is fun. However, they are all still merely acquaintances. I don't really know them. Besides those I dance with, I've been able to make one really good friend. Who understands me. Who lifts me up and encourages me to do my best, and to make goals. I'm grateful for that! Living somewhere where no one knows you leaves a lot of room to "slack" off and not live up to what you believe. You can be who you want. For me, I want to excel. I want to be better than I was before I came here. So, in a way the lack of social life is a good thing. It gives me room to work on me. (I gotta keep looking at the positives of the tough situations! haha).

I'll miss Missouri. I have 4 months left until the job is done. I have no clue what I'm going to do after- about work. It all boils down to when I start nursing school. What a pain to have to wait, not knowing WHEN the beginning will come! The good thing is, I know I'm here because this is where I'm supposed to be. Everything else can still just wait until its time to take care of it. No use in worrying about what can't be dealt with now, right? Yeah...I still need to learn that lesson...

There's my update. My rather sparse and simple update. haha. I'm doing good! :)

Heavenly

2009-03-26T22:52:00.011-07:00

I know its weird to move half way across the country and still be super excited to go to Bass Prop Shops, but go ahead and call me weird! I love that store. I still wish I could win the lottery and spend half of it there. Ok, maybe not really half...

Anywho, the store is still super cool. A bit smaller in Branson than the one back home, but I hear the one in Springfield (about 40 min away) is the BIGGEST of them all! So expect a report on that one when I visit. I bought a shirt, hat and mug as memoirs of my favorite store in the new town. I took my friend and fellow dancer, Jared, along with me. He had never been to a Bass Pro before! So crazy. I had to show him what life is all about. I think they all think I'm so odd. I definitely don't fit into the Polynesian culture...haha cuz I'm not! Sometimes I just wanna wear my cowboy hat, talk with the southern drawl and let the redneck side of me come out. Then I remember I'm supposed to represent the Polynesian dancing I'm here to do... oh well. When I'm not on the clock I can be ME! :)

Here are some pics of this fantabulous day:

I was very excited to go in!

Jared's first time!! Yes, I made him wear the hat and hold the fish pillow :)

I had to beg him to get a picture, you can tell he wasn't too excited to hold my hand...

This is something I imagine Lisa buying for one of my kids one day... :) haha

Look Lisa! A cowboy hat that is camo! Don't worry, I didn't buy it :)

Outside with the big wooden bear

I'm in Missouri!!!

2009-03-20T01:53:00.002-07:00

I can hardly believe it. Am I really getting paid to perform and entertain people on their travels? Wow. Its pretty dang sweet!

The drive was long. My dad and I left early Sunday morning, and after stopping by my mom's work to say our goodbye's, we were on the road. It went by pretty fast, and I really enjoyed the one on one time I got with my dad. We had a lot of fun! Oh, and XM radio totally rocks :) We got into Branson Monday afternoon, and moved me into a room at the Dutton Inn until the apartment was ready. I now live with 3 girls, and we have a lot of fun! Definitely a trying experience to share a small space with 3 others, who all have different styles of living, and come from different backgrounds (to say the least), but its an experience. And that's all that matters.

The work leading up to a great show is something that not very many people know about. 2 weeks of 15 hour rehearsals (give or take an hour) doesn't leave much time to, say...have a life. We've got the show on the road now, and its getting better each day. Pretty soon I'll have more time to explore and see some shows!

Branson is going to be absolutely beautiful in the springtime! The town is in the Ozark Mountains, so lots of hills, trees, and windy roads. Way cool! There's not much green yet, but I can only imagine! The fog in the morning, or the rain and clouds on stormy days are so great. The lake is really close too, and I can't wait to have the time and energy to go out and explore that, too. Bass Pro shops is still on the top of my list to visit! :)

I could post some pics right now, but I'm way too tired to do that. So it'll have to wait. In fact, I should seriously be sleeping right now. I got a nail in my tire the other day so I have to go get it fixed tomorrow. Joy. Just wanted to give a bit of an update. I love and miss you all back home, but I will see you in a few short months! Just don't forget me :)

Peace and Love!

New Car!!

2009-02-25T12:55:00.005-07:00

Because I am driving halfway across country to live for 9 months, I need a car that is good on gas. Xterra's don't get that. So, I sold my baby (sad, yes...) and purchased a newer and more dependable car. I settled on a 2008 Chevy Cobalt. I'm not a huge fan of cars, I prefer trucks or SUVs, but so far I am really enjoying the car. Its pretty quick, and snazzy. Here's just a couple pics of the new one in my life:

Firsts

2009-02-22T21:27:00.003-07:00

1. Who was your FIRST prom date?
Brett Willis

2. FIRST date?
I don't remember...

3. Do you still talk to your FIRST love?
We used to, with time we've just grown apart.

4. What was your FIRST job?
Moki's Hawaiian Grill

5. What was your FIRST car?
2000 Nissan Xterra

6. Who was the FIRST person to text you today?
Ray

7. Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning?
Umm....my brother since he woke me up. haha.

8. Who was your FIRST grade teacher?
I don't remember, I wanna say Mrs. Kincade...

9. Who was your FIRST Kiss?
Hmm, I think it was Ricardo haha

10. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?
I think it was to Utah

11. Who was your FIRST best friend & do you still talk?
Briana, and no we don't.

12. Where was your FIRST sleepover?
I have absolutely no idea.

13. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?
My brother Nathan

14. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?
nothing, just slept, trying to get over being sick.

15. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?
Kenny Chesney

16. FIRST piercing?
Ears when I was a baby

17. FIRST foreign country you've been to?
Mexico

18. FIRST movie you remember seeing?
haha I don't remember!

19. When was your FIRST detention?
8th grade- chewing gum!! So gay...

20. What was the FIRST state you lived in?
Arizona

21. Who was your FIRST roommate?
Her name was Janae

22. What happened the FIRST time you were pulled over driving? Did you get a ticket?
The two tickets I DID get were NOT by being pulled over....stupid cameras!! I have only been pulled over once, and that is because I had just left a friend's house late at night and forgot to turn on my headlights. Yeah...dumb, I know.

The "Condensed" Story Behind the Choice

2009-01-28T08:00:00.005-07:00

I guess telling you WHY I'm going, or what brought up the idea of moving, is important. It all started about 5 months ago...

I received an email from the director of the Easter Pageant telling me about a job opportunity dancing in a Polynesian show that her friends are in charge of, and if I knew anyone else who'd be interested as well. I didn't think too much of it, but decided I'd take the info and see what would come of it. I knew that when the semester was finished, I'd have nothing to do until I start nursing school. I had nothing to lose, really. Just more options.

Soon after, I was contacted by the lady who "runs" the whole show. Sending me some information on the position and all that comes along with it. Before I accepted the info, I didn't realize it would be IN Missouri, causing me to have to move. However, I was extremely excited. I knew I didn't want to sit around doing nothing. I wanted change, and I wanted to get away. Because the show wouldn't be for another 7 months or so, they were in no rush to put together their cast of dancers just yet. They needed time to meet each one, and make their decision. The months wore on, with lots of email contact. Not only did the months wear on, but my excitement started to wear off. Moving is a HUGE decision. Especially moving to another state I've never been before with nobody that I know. Needless to say, I was stressed. Anxious. Nervous. Unsure.

December is when I thought I would know if I truly "got the job" or not. Through emails it sounded like I did, and she mentioned repeatedly how she was very excited to meet me and hoped I was still wanting to come out, however there was never an official "We want you, will you come?" kind of response. December came and went with no answer, and January was on its way out the door when BAM! You've got mail. She was in town, and wanted to meet with me. At this point, I had sort of given up, and got used to the fact that I was just going to stay here and enjoy my time with family and friends. I had things to keep me busy, and I still had a job. I was happy. Still, part of me wanted to take this new opportunity and run with it, no questions asked.

So, we met. My mom came (moral support, every professional has their own "manager" right?) and we met with them. I was told to bring a solo to show, even though I mentioned I was not well prepared and rusty. I didn't even have to do the dance audition! In the first five minutes of meeting me, I had the job. The "mother" of the whole production said that I came with a very high recommendation, and they really wanted me to be part of their show. WOW!!! What a compliment. I was very taken back at this turn of events, and realized I had one very big decision to make, and ASAP.

ABOUT THE JOB: I will be performing at least 200 shows between March and December. About 5-6 shows per week. It is similare to PCC's night show, for any of you who've been there. Dancing representing each island of Polynesia. I'm excited because I've been trained in hula and tahitian, but now I get to learn the other dances too. There are great perks too, I can get into ANY other show in town for FREE. Including the movie theatres. Branson is dubbed the "Live Entertainment Capital of the World". The population of Branson is around 6,000 and they servemore than 7 million tourists per year! It surrounded by lakes, and in the Ozark mountains. Very green and beautiful. Small town feel, with the upbeat pace. I like that! Oh, and my favorite part....Bass Pro shops started in Missouri!!!! :D The summers are extremely humid, and the winters are verrry cold. That'll be a new experience.

Lots of praying, pondering, weighing, and stressful moments later....I decided to go. You see, the show is run by the Dutton Family. They are LDS, and part of their mission is to represent the church in a good light. One of the dances is performed to a Hawaiian version of "How Great Thou Art"-- pretty neat. That is a big factor for me, the whole "show business" can be pretty sketchy. After meeting with them and hearing their goals and what they want for this upcoming year, I can't help but feel excited and wanting to be part of it. I can't say that one day I got this HUGE answer to say "GO!!" (Although that was what everyone else said when I told them haha). It was a lot of little things. That if I wasn't paying attention to them, I probably wouldn't have had the same impressions.

Some people think I'm throwing away my education to go perform. Yeah, performing and dancing is my "thing", but it is not my "priority". I love it. I enjoy it. It makes me happy. My most important thing is to finish school, and grow. At this point, I have no control over the fact that I cannot start nursing school RIGHT NOW. The average wait is 1.5-2 years. I've been waiting since last May. So, the earliest I can even start is January of 2010. Taking that into consideration, I need something to occupy my time, to challenge me, and to help me grow. Voila!! Dancing in Missouri. Honestly, I'd much rather be thrown into nursing school right now than go. But that's life. I'm young, definitely got that advantage.

Its not going to be easy. I know the beginning will take some getting used to, and I may hate it at first. But everything is only what we make of it, and I want to make this an experience I will never forget. I have lots to do with such a limited time to prepare to leave, but it will get done. The best part is that I will be back!! :)

So, that is that. It may not look condensed, but trust me, it is. We'll all have to party it up before I go. Letters, emails, texts, packages with sweets....all will be welcome :)

Something New

2009-01-26T00:52:00.003-07:00

I'm moving!!!!!!!!!!!!

There, I said it.
For reals.
To Missouri.
Crazy?
I know.

I got a job dancing in a show called Island Fire. Google it. Or youtube it. I think there's a clip about it somewhere. If you can't tell by the name, its Polynesian dancing. I'll be gone March through part of December. Less than 5 weeks away!!!!

Yeah, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't freaking out a little bit... hehe (nervous laugh)

My newfound love

2009-01-23T13:13:00.003-07:00

For years I've wanted to learn the guitar. It amazes me what music can come from such an instrument! My oldest hermano Joshua picked it up when I was a little girl, and now he's freakin awesome at it. In the past couple years, my younger hermano Steven started playin too, and he's got the talent for sure. My grandma taught me piano when I was younger, and since then I've taught myself enough just to have fun and play around with. I love it muchos. But the guitar....that's always been on my mind! In high school I wanted to take guitar and dance as my electives. Dance was always a given, as for I couldn't ever go a semester without it. Somehow they screwed up my schedule and left out dance, but gave me guitar. I was bummed. I was also the ONLY girl in the class. I had to have dance, and nothing would take its place, so I switched it up and dropped guitar class for dance.

Now that I've told you something that means nothing to you, here is one of my TOP New Year's Resolutions that I wrote at the beginning of the month: Learn to play the guitar. CHECK! I bought a Johnson Acoustic, steel string, black, smaller body. Its really nice and the sound is good, considering I'm a beginner and trying to see if I can tackle this life long goal of mine. I'm way stoked. And I love it. I've been watching youtube videos to learn basic chords. There's one guy in particular that I really enjoy. Short, but informative. I have fun just sitting there strummin away, pretending I know what I'm doing. Loving the tenderness of my fingertips after playing, and anxiously awaiting the soon to be callouses! I know it'll take a while. Even though I play piano, the stretching and movement of playing the guitar is mucho different-o. I also hope I get really good, because I fell in love with this beautiful Dean guitar. It had my name ALL over it. But....it was muchooooo expensive. It'll be my treat later in life :)

I'm excited for my bro Josh to come home. He can teach me all he knows, and we can jam like there's no tomorrow. Steven and I came up with a great idea (well, I think its great at least), we are going to form a family band! He and Josh will play guitar, I've got the keyboard, Frank is on the drums, Emily fluting the flute and Nate will bust out his trumpet. My mom will sing some tunes and my dad will be dressed in his mariachi outfit dancing around with a tambourine in hand. We'll be famous. Or...infamous. (That's more than famous).

Moral of this random blog post: I bought a guitar. And I'm way excited about it :)

Sweet Nectar!!

2008-12-22T10:21:00.007-07:00

Lisa bought me my first Dr Pepper in like 7 months. I am thoroughly overjoyed at the moment. 'Tis the season to be jolly! I thought I'd share my experience through photographs so everyone can experience the joy I felt at my first sip...

Mmm.... :)

Just something..

2008-12-18T00:49:00.005-07:00

Timing is everything.

I always believed it, but I guess I am really starting to get to know it.

Its been a long time since I've written anything on here, mostly because there doesn't seem to be anything happening in my life that is worth writing about. The thoughts that go through my head are even hard for me to figure out sometimes....but here I am. Again.

In the past 6 months alone, I've been thrown numerous curve balls that have allow me to learn patience, gratitude, and the ability to remain positive and optimistic. Even when the light at the end of the tunnel doesn't seem to exist.

For all who know me, the past few months have been very... "up in the air". My next year doesn't have too much direction... and it's literally been making me go crazy. The fact that it still is doesn't put my mind at ease. Even though I'm not the most organized person, I love to have a plan- knowing what my next step will be. Since September, my life has had much unnecessary stress, and especially so because I am a "chronic worrier". I can't help it, I've tried. The unknowns worry me, which is normal. But- when they consume me, that is ridiculous!!

This is where faith shines brightly. Where I can make all those big worries, unknowns and problems seem small. Where I can hope for the best, and trust in He who is ultimately in charge. Where I can continue to grow, and improve, despite the fact that I am literally taking those next steps without seeing the whole staircase.

I've got lots of goals I want to accomplish this coming year. I have only been running them through my head. Once I sit down and really commit myself to them, I will share some of it so I can be held accountable! Even though I do not know what the future holds in store for me, and you can't trust a Magic 8 ball, I know the Lord will guide me through whatever comes my way. With any decision I make, He'll be there. Oh how reassuring that is!!

Oh, and I am really excited for Christmas. So much!! It's gonna be different than most, but very special too. Plus, I get to talk to my amazingly awesome friend!! So...yeah. Good stuff.

Just some thoughts.
Until next time...

Catching some zzz's

2008-10-29T23:50:00.005-07:00

I was exhausted at work today. My sleep habits are not the best, and I tend to get the worst sleep when I work the next day. Causing me to wake up at 6 am, to work a 9 hour shift. Yeah, not too bad. But sitting at a desk all day doesn't make it any easier to keep mis ojos open. Today was one of those tough days, finding myself constantly wishing I was in bed still, wrapped in my voluptuous feather comforter. Really, my bed is one of my favorite places on earth. And I love sleeping. So avoiding naps doesn't make it very easy.
Once 4 o'clock hit, I was outta there. I did my absolute best to keep mis ojos open on the drive home. And succeeded. Luckily. I rushed into my room, and changed into some more comfy clothes as fast as I could. . . and fell asleep. That was around 5. I set my alarm to 5:45 pm, knowing I had dance and a test to study for. Many calls and a few texts later, I find myself waking up around 8 pm. Hmm....no bueno.

I haven't taken a nap in a long time (about a week or two, really- thats a long time), because I love the feeling of being utterly exhausted at the end of the day and crashing in bed. When I nap, it is impossible to make it any less than 2 hours, and even though it is great to sleep, I always seem to feel worse afterwards. Normally resulting in me not getting to bed very early (like a nap really affects that, anyway).

I guess what I want to say is that I love taking naps. But I hate the after effects. Especially when they are taken so late into the day. I waste precious time I could have been doing something more productive, like have my nose stuck in my Anatomy and Physiology II book, preparing for a huge lab practical I have manana.

Yeah. . . Thats all.

Happy E

2008-10-23T19:44:00.006-07:00

So, life is way stressful. All the time. And as with aging, it only gets worse. I took a huge test and got a ton of stuff outta the way that has been making me go loco. It feels niiiice. After class, I was able to visit one of my most favoritest (I know that's not a word) places in the world! I luffed every moment of it.

As I was making my way home, I passed QT and realized I needed to fill my gas tank. I'm pretty much stoked with how the price of gas has taken a dramatic downfall!! I just filled up for $2.79. I don't get why people aren't as excited about how the prices have dropped, as compared to the moaning and groaning when they rose. Nonetheless, I am ecsatatic about it! My wallet is loving it as well.

Also, I love being able to be on my computer and lay in my bed at the same time. Yes, today there is a very happy E :)

When the Sand Runs Out

2008-10-13T23:46:00.003-07:00

I absolutely love Rascal Flatts. I think there are only 2 or 3 songs I don't like of their's. One song in particular has always come back to mind as I think of where I am, and where I want to be, and what good I've done. I've always wondered what nice things- if any- that people would have to say about me when its my time to go. Here are the lyrics to the song "When the Sand Runs Out":

I spent the morning at an old friend's grave
Flowers and Amazing Grace, he was a good man
He spent his whole life spinnin' his wheels
Never knowin' how the real thing feels
He never took a chance or took the time to dance
And I stood there thinking as I said goodbye
Today is the first day of the rest of my life

I'm gonna stop lookin' back and start movin' on
And learn how to face my fears
Love with all of my heart, make my mark
I wanna leave something here

Go out on a ledge, with out any net
That's what I'm gonna be about
Yeah I wanna be runnin'
When the sand runs out

'Cause people do it everyday
Promise themselves they're gonna change
I've been there, but I'm changin' from the inside out

That was then and this is now
I'm a new man, yeah, I'm a brand new man
And when they carve my stone they'll write these words
"Here lies a man who lived life for all that its worth"

I'm gonna stop lookin' back and start movin' on
Learn how to face my fears
Love with all of my heart, make my mark
I wanna leave something here

Go out on a ledge, with out any net
That's what I'm gonna be about
Yeah I wanna be runnin'
When the sand runs out

And as the cold wind blows across the graveyard
I think I hear the voice of my old friend whisper in my ear

I'm gonna stop lookin' back and start movin' on
Learn how to face my fears
Love with all of my heart, make my mark
I wanna leave something here

Go out on a ledge, with out any net
That's what I'm gonna be about
Yeah I wanna be runnin'
When the sand runs out

A bit of Me

2008-10-09T17:00:00.003-07:00

I am: a daughter of God.
I think: too much.
I want: to get the job already!!
I have: a great family.
I dislike: dishonest people.
I miss: my best friend.
I fear: I won't reach my goals.
I feel: grateful for all that I have.
I hear: silence.
I smell: "very sexy"....hehe :)
I crave: meaningful conversation.
I cry: when I have nothing left.
I usually: stay pretty busy.
I regret: mistakes, but they have been made. So, I learn from them.
I search: for guidance.
I wonder: what my future holds in store.
I love: to love.
I care: about others.
I always: carry a camera with me.
I worry: too much about things I cannot always control.
I am not: a morning person.
I remember: the good times.
I believe: I will never know enough.
I dance: all the time.
I sing: horribly!
I don't always: say what I want, when I want.
I argue: even when there is no point in arguing.
I write: thoughts, feelings, letters.
I win: some of the time.
I lose: patience, too easily.
I wish: I could move away for a while.
I listen: to advice, but ultimately make my own decisions.
I don't understand: Isaiah. That book is so hard to understand.
I can usually be found: at work, school, or basically anywhere! I'd prefer to be found in my bed with my feather comforter and a good book, always :)
I watch: The Office.
I forget: to study for my class like I should.
I am happy: with who, and where, I am.

New Medical Fact....

2008-10-06T12:30:00.002-07:00

Two great Mondays in a row, this is fantastic!

So, I get these ridiculously sharp, painful headaches every so often. There's nothing I can do about it, and ibuprofen doesn't work. They don't ever last long, but come on in an instant. Anyways, I got a few this morning at work and told Lisa about them. She had a great idea for a remedy.

She said if I eat enough ice cream to get a headache, it would cause me to forget about the current headaches I get. In result, I'd replace the ridiculously sharp, painful headaches with a lesser headache due to an incredibly fast intake of freezing ice cream. She even offered to buy me the ice cream to try it, so I'm testing her theory.

So far its working super fantastically.

Thanks, Lisa :)

Sneaky Sneaky

2008-09-29T11:23:00.010-07:00

Three Facts:

1) I have an incredibly short attention span.

2) I have an incredibly boring and monotonous office job.

3) Lisa works in the cube across from me.

So, My boss and I get a little creative from time to time...

We use cans of compressed air to dust off the inside of our little office machines when they start malfunctioning. It works a lot of the time. I have at least 3 cans in my little cube alone, and not enough malfunctions to use them on. This is where it gets fun.

I'm leaving at noon today, to go home and continue my studies for a huge test I have tomorrow. Besides that fact, it is a Monday. At work. Which means it is relatively slower than most days of the week. I just finished organizing the checks that came in, pulled the invoices, and counted them up. They are now officially ready to be deposited. Since the program is not on my computer, I go to my boss' cube next door to use her's. However, as I sit down to make the deposits, I realize that I hadn't taken a moment to visit Lisa in a while. So I figured I'd surprise her with some extra oxygen today. Can in hand, I'm ready... I sneak up to her cube, very quietly... like so:

I found her eating a granola bar, entering in numbers and junk for whatever she does for work, and singing "I'm bad" by Michael Jackson. So, I pull down my hood and pull the trigger and....

BAM!!!

Ah. Nice. It worked out perfectly. My ninja catlike tactics worked like a bowl of lucky charms. This made for a very successful Monday at work.

Mission: ACCOMPLISHED.

***NOTE: Pictures used are NOT the originals of the act performed. Professional actresses were used to recreate the event.

Testimony

2008-09-29T08:51:00.005-07:00

I've had the opportunity to attend two ward campouts the past two weekends, once with my old ward and once with my new branch. For each, we had a testimony meeting around the campfire. I was able to sit and listen to the solid testimonies of my peers, and reflect on my own testimony and where I stood. Since the beginning of summer, I have not been able to find balance in my own life and schedule. Just when I think I've got it down, the Lord sure knows how to show me who's really in charge here.

On the drive up to camp, a song came on the radio sung by Randy Travis called "Three Wooden Crosses". The chorus specifically is what touched me:

I guess it's not what you take

When you leave this world behind you

It's what you leave behind you when you go

I've thought a lot about what I have done in this life, in my short 20 years, to make a difference. Did I reach out to others when they needed a friend? Did I give my all in school, and work? Did I spend enough time with my family, and do they know my goals and aspirations? Do I share my testimony enough that people know who I believe in, and what I stand for? Am I honest in all that I do?

As I think of my answers to each question, I realize there is much that I need to improve on. I have yet to find a balance in life, and I find that when times are tough my focus seems to be on me. The farmer taught his son about faith and love, the teacher left wisdom with her students, and the preacher affected generations by giving his Bible to the hooker. Beyond this life, all we take with us are our relationships with those whom we associate and our knowledge that we attain. These people left priceless parts of them behind; it wasn't the money, clothes, or worldly possessions left that defined how successful they were. They looked beyond themselves, to the future and those around them. They made a difference, even in just one person's life.

I am going to take the initiative to look beyond Elena. Find ways to bear one another's burdens, comfort those who stand in need of comfort, and be a friend to all I meet.

I don't take the opportunity enough to share my testimony, so here is one taken. I do have a testimony that my Savior lives. He died for me, for you, and for all who have ever lived upon the earth. But most importantly, he arose, and lives today! Through him, we can return to live with our Father in Heaven once more. I know that I have a Heavenly Father who loves me, and is aware of me. Of each of us. He knows what we need, before we even ask. I know that by faith, works, and abiding the commandments, I can return to Him one day. I know that families can be together forever, and that is something I am so grateful for. I pray that I can spend the rest of eternity with my family, and with my own family I will have one day. My testimony is my most prized possession; something that can never be taken away from me.

My testimony is what I want to leave behind. If anything is to be remembered of me, I hope it is this: I KNOW God lives! The Gospel of Jesus Christ IS true!

Taking Control

2008-09-12T10:32:00.004-07:00

"God is good. He is eager to forgive. He wants us to perfect ourselves and maintain control of ourselves. He does not want Satan and others to control our lives. We must learn that keeping our Heavenly Father's commandments represents the only path to total control of ourselves, the only way to find joy, truth, and fulfillment in this life and in eternity."

Spencer W. Kimball, "The Gospel of Repentance" Ensign, June 1983

I am taking an institute class on the book of Isaiah. I know- its a tough book to swallow. I don't know very much at all about it, so I am very excited to begin the process of understanding what it teaches. I also am lucky to have a great teacher, who is very well learned in the Gospel and Isaiah in particular. He knows so much, and I marvel at the references he can bring up and many experiences he ties into the teachings. He has an email list for those taking his class so he can send quotes and information that he finds helpful as we study outside of class during the week. In one email, this quote (and more of the talk) was given.

I particularly like the fact that Spencer W. Kimball tells us that we must take control of our lives. We must not place the blame on others or our surrounding environment for our own life. It is only what we make of it. I know that I find myself blaming others or circumstances, whether consciously or not. It's as if my happiness and who I am is determined by what is found around me. What a lie I'm feeding myself! A good friend wrote me about something he has learned recently. He sees a difference in those around him that are happy, and those that are struggling, because of the way they choose to live. It is simple- they are happy because they choose to be happy. They choose to start with themselves and make that conscious effort to improve who they are and work outward, by improving their environment. Vice versa for those who are unhappy. They are depending on those around them and their environment to make them happy.

I find it interesting that he would say the path to obtaining complete control of ourselves is to obey the Lord's commandments. In doing so, we can learn to forgive, to honor, to trust, to be honest, to love, to care for, to understand, and to serve. In addition to those Top Ten, we are urged to "come unto Christ, and be perfected in him" (Moroni 10:32). What better way is there than to follow the direct footsteps of our Savior, Jesus Christ? There is none other more perfect who has walked upon this earth, can we ask for a better example?

More often than not, our own pride can get in the way of achieving this goal. Who's guilty of this? I know I am. More than I like to readily admit. My teacher paraphrased a talk by someone who said pride is a universal sin, in which the only anecdote is humility. In the same talk, pride is not only defined as being haughty and conceited, but also by being envious, unforgiving and coveting. I can find numerous occasions where I have been on both spectra's of that pride cycle, sometimes without even noticing. The worst part is that I am hindering my own ability to take complete control of myself and halting my progression.

In our day, when TV and newspapers tell stories to make money, and people become so overcome with jealousy and hate, it is so important to keep holding onto the iron rod. To take a step back and find where our hearts truly are. I know that as we center our life on Christ and follow His example, we can find joy and happiness unattainable elsewhere. I'm grateful for the examples of my close friends and family whose testimonies are fuel to my fire. Their examples lift me up. For the love of my Heavenly Father, and Jesus Christ. And for my testimony, which keeps me grounded and always in search of ways to strengthen it and push myself to greater heights.

The Right Place

2008-09-08T08:07:00.005-07:00

Lisa has been begging me to write a new blog for a long time now. Not because she thinks I'm a good writer, but because work gets slow and she needs some new reading material :) Here ya go!

I thought I'd write about a small experience I had last weekend. I went to California with my family to visit my older brother, Frank. He and his wife and son are stationed at Camp Pendleton, in Oceanside. Its nice to go visit and have a FREE place to stay, and considering he gets out next month, we figured we better get one more good trip in.

It had been over a year since I had gone on a trip with my family. I had a lot of fun, but I also realized (once again) that I am not the most patient person in the world. In fact- I admit its a huge weakness of mine! Especially having lived on my own for the past couple years, I do things in my own time and at my own leisure. It was nice to leave home (reality) and get away and relax. We had a lot of fun at the beach, and even went to the San Diego Zoo while we were there. We've been to Disneyland and Sea World a few times prior- so we thought we'd skip those this time.

Sunday came around, and I really felt the need to attend Sacrament meeting at a local church building. So I found a YSA ward on California St, borrowed my brother's car, and headed out. I am pretty familiar with the major roads in this area, having visited quite a few times during their stay in Oceanside, but also have a very good sense of direction. So- I felt a little confident in my ability to NOT get lost on my way. I wrote down a few streets and turns and got myself to the church building in about 20 minutes, taking my time driving through the neighborhoods. Dreaming of a life in a gorgeous home on the beaches of California. As I noticed how different it was from Arizona, I felt just a little out of place.

As soon as I reached the church building- which was beautiful, with lush green grass and palm trees galore- I felt calm. The moment I walked into the chapel doors I felt "at home". I knew that even though I was in an unfamiliar area, I was in the right place. As I walked in, there were no familiar faces. I found a spot to sit and waited the few minutes for the Sacrament service to start. The talks given were great, and the Spirit was strong. As the meeting closed- I was greeted by a few people, and then started to head out and head back home to meet my family.

However, as I left the church building, I felt impressed to turn around and go back in. I wasn't sure what to do, because I knew I was out of town with my family and wanted to spend time with them. But I knew I wanted to feel more of the Spirit, knowing I wouldn't feel it like I did at that moment if I went home. My mom called me at then and said they were just relaxing at home and that I could take my time, if I wanted to stay for the rest I could. So- I did. And it was worth it.

I ended up being late for Sunday School and I didn't want to walk in late. I found some comfy chairs right outside the room where I could still hear what they were talking about. As I sat, a young man walked out of class and stood around where I was. He didn't say anything for a minute, so I started a conversation with him. He was 18, and had just recently graduated. He hadn't been to church in a very long time but due to recent events felt the need to change something in his life, and knew he needed to go back to church. We talked about a lot of different things, and the differences in AZ and CA. About school, work, and many other things. He asked if I go to church a lot back home, and I told him I did. Then we started talking about missions, and if he wanted to go on one. Due to recent events in my life, my testimony of serving a mission has grown immensely. I know without a doubt that they are one of the greatest things a person can do. It is a huge step in helping our Father in Heaven bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man, by sharing the gift of the Gospel with others. So- as we talked he expressed the fact that he didn't think he could, but he would love to. I didn't want him to think he had to say things I "wanted to hear", so I asked him why he thought that. We went on for a while, and he mentioned I sounded a little bit like his mom- good thing? Hmm...I doubt it. However, I quickly shut my mouth- not wanting to offend him. Nevertheless, he stuck around and really enjoyed chatting.

As Sunday School ended, some people came out and he introduced me to his friends. They were pretty nice and invited me to hang out with them that coming weekend, but considering I'd be in AZ it wouldn't work out very easily. I appreciated the welcome they gave me. As the 3rd block started (combined RS/EQ)- I got up to leave. He asked if I was going to class, and I said no. (Side Note: I gave him crap for skipping out of Sunday school to leave and go to McDonald's to grab a bite to eat. Which didn't help my cause at all that I said I was leaving.) He gave me a bit of crap in return, so I told him I'd go to class if he went to class too, so I would know someone. He not too excitedly agreed, but came anyways. The class ended being really good, and he was glad he went. I didn't stick around much longer, being gone for more time than I expected to be. So we said our goodbyes and I left feeling very uplifted.

It was really nice to talk to this young man, and be able to share a little bit of my testimony with him and he with me. As I grow older, I notice a lot of ME in the younger people that I meet. Although I am only 20, and feel young myself, I still think it is neat. This experience with this guy made me think of the gratitude I have for those who never gave up on me. Who pushed me to be better, to stick around for church, and to reach my goals. I am grateful for the good friends and family that I have, and for the change that I have made in the past two years. Its been a complete 180- and I still have much, much more to learn and accomplish!

What it comes down to is that the church is the same no matter where you are. It is constant- and unchanging. It is either true, or its not. But it is, I know it is- whether you are in California, Mexico or Hawaii. Our Savior died for the people in all those places. Our Heavenly Father is aware of each and every one of His children. He loves all of them, individually and unconditionally. I know I was supposed to be at that ward on that Sunday. The Spirit I felt in those meetings is the same Spirit I feel back home. I am so grateful to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and I know that it is true.

Without a doubt.

come on rain...

2008-08-26T20:16:00.005-07:00

I have thoroughly enjoyed the rain the past couple days, and I hope that it lingers for just a little while longer. Just thought I'd share a little bit about that with you...

Rainy days in AZ are few and very far between. Its a very special day when those lovely clouds make their way into town to grace us with their presence, and share some of what they've been holding. I remember one time, working at Moki's, that it started pouring really hard. A lot of employees from the surrounding stores all came out to enjoy the smell and sight of rain. Its probably really funny to people not native to one of the hottest places in the world. Ok- maybe not the whole world. But at least MY world.

When it rains, I wanna strap on my tap shoes and head outdoors to try out my best impersonation of Gene Kelly from Singing In The Rain.

I love everything about rain. The smell. The feel. The sound. The excuse to cuddle with someone close. The clouds that make it possible. The lightening or thunder that sometimes accompany it. Yeah, all of it. Maybe I wasn't made for Arizona...

The small things...

2008-08-07T19:12:00.008-07:00

I went shopping with my dear friend, Lisa Andrews, yesterday and found some terrific deals! I hadn't been clothes shopping for myself in about a year. I spent so much time at the mall when I was younger and when I worked there that now, I get a sort of "anxiety" if I am there too long. The styles these days seem to take so much more thought in putting an outfit together. For example, I walk into Forever 21 and I seem like I can hardly breathe. If I could watch myself, I'm sure I'd laugh. I walk around aimlessly, trying to figure out an outfit. There is SO many clothes! I was definitely glad Lisa was there to help. I needed it. However, I did find some sweet sales and spent under $100!!! This will hopefully last me a while, because I cannot imagine having to spend that much time shopping again anytime soon. Sweet deals + cute clothes = happy Elena.

I don't believe in coincidences. No, not one. I think that everything does, in fact, happen for a reason. I believe people come into our lives for a purpose. I believe opportunities come at times when we may not even realize how great an impact they will have. The chaos we call life, really is just "ordered" chaos. We may not know why we lost a job, why we moved across the country, why a relationship didn't work, why not-so-fun things happen, but happen they will. It may take days, weeks, months, years, or possibly the next life for us to really understand the "why's" to everything. Even though I don't know all the "why's" to where I am at this point in my life, I know that I am where I'm supposed to be for a reason. And although our past does not define our future, it definitely shapes who we are. I feel like over the past two years I have been "groomed" for where I am now, and where I am heading. It is an exciting yet overwhelming feeling, because the past two years have not always been times of joy. I know who I am and where I am headed- and as I said, all things happen for a reason! Bring it on! :)

I've come to find out that I really enjoy intellectual conversations. Yeah- at parties you talk about the same things with the same people and that can be easy, stress-free and fun. A good, deep talk about something of worth is very refreshing to me. It gives me an opportunity to share who Elena is. Not only that but I can open my mind to what others think and feel, and connect with friends on a completely new level. I've always been a naturally shy person, and still I really am. As I've been able to step out of my comfort zone- an inch at a time- I find myself opening up more and wanting to learn about others, who they are and what makes them, well, them. Its just great!

Being honest, loyal, and trustworthy are so important to me. I have a very deep for those with these qualities. I know we aren't all perfect- and need work in areas (as for me, a LOT of areas), but I love and admire when I know I have friends who are there no matter what. I realize that as much as I want friends like that, I need to be that friend. I need to be loyal to those who are friends, be honest in all relationships and earn the trust of my peers. Like attracts like, to attract friends of these qualities I need to be a friend with these qualities.

Moki's food is delicious. I recently went there with a friend for lunch and it was oh so good. It had been a while- but I thoroughly enjoyed it! If you haven't ever gone, you NEED to go! :)

I LOVE clouds. I absolutely do. Anyone who claims to be my friend would know this about me. I used to get teased (Ok- I still do from time to time) when I stand in awe and repeatedly say "Oh my gosh! Look at the clouds! Ah they are so pretty!" This, as well as sunsets and any other piece of nature, really intrigues me! I went camping this weekend- and on the way there and back I took quite a few shots of the clouds and scenery. My friend Cub told me that he never knew someone who took as many pictures of the clouds as I do. In reply, I told him that for every 100 pictures or so taken, you have those few really good shots. The clouds always look different, and you really can't capture the beauty in a single photograph. So, I take many. Of everything. Pictures are like a second journal to me. It can tell so much about something, without words. I think I need to enroll in a photography class...

Rain, lightening and thunder are amazing. The smell. The look. The feel. The sound. The light. All of it. I wish AZ had more. Maybe I need to move for a while...

Dance and music are amazing. Dance lets me express myself and physically let go of all stress and anxiety. I can enter into my world where nothing matters but the music and the space around me to jump and twirl in. I can push myself and learn how to control my body in a way that requires constant work and dedication. The music brings out the many emotions that can be felt. It can make you feel happy, sad, sassy, curious, grateful, or even... just there.

FAMILY. I know I have mine for a reason, and I don't know what I'd do without them.

I could go on and on and on.... there are so many things in life worth mentioning, from small and simple to large and complex

Thoughts. . .

2008-07-25T16:52:00.008-07:00

I am not quite sure how to start this blog. So many thoughts have been running through my head. Every time I sit and try to organize them on here, I end up quitting, unable to process my thoughts into words on the screen. I think it is time to share what I have been feeling for the past couple months. It may be unorganized, but I will share my thoughts according to my own beliefs and my own faith, including reference to scripture. I am not asking you to agree with my words, but to open your mind to someone else's view; that you too may learn for yourself where you stand.

A dear friend of many has left this probationary state we call life on earth, to dwell with our Father in Heaven. Through this ordeal, I have felt a wide range of emotions that have mostly been kept to myself. Travis Alexander wasn't one of the closest of closest friends of mine, but I did get to know him well over the past couple years that I knew him. I can't say that we agreed on most things, and we sure did get on each other's nerves. For example: He loved the Aquabats and UFC, both of which are not in the Top 1,000,000 things I like. However, even though we weren't the closest of friends, I have learned things that are valuable and personal. Through the loss of Travis, we can all rest assured our dear friend is happier than he could ever be here. He has left an impression on all who knew him, and even those who didn't, to be our very best live life to its fullest.

Travis dated my best friend for a long time, and even before that I was able to become his friend. I knew a lot of his good qualities and characteristics as well as his imperfections, at least as much as the "best friend" could. As I read many thoughts of others on how they've been affected, I am grateful that they've been able to look past the imperfections of a man, and to focus on his life that is worthy to be celebrated. Sometimes I can get caught up in my imperfections, my faults and shortcomings, and the day-to-day mistakes that I make. I am learning to embrace my weaknesses, and the things in life that give me trouble. I know that they are only given to help me be humble, submissive and meek. I've learned that I cannot get through this life on my own. There is no possible way. I need my loving Savior to make up what I lack, to carry my burdens and to comfort my soul. In my weakness is when I can learn and grow; when I can find strength that I never knew I had. Travis chose to rise above his weaknesses, to turn them into strengths. We can become anything we want to be. We are only as limited as we tell ourselves we are.

Life passes in the blink of an eye. Did I serve enough? Love enough? Forgive enough? Those three principles are always in my mind these days. I realize that as fast as life is given, it can be taken away. As we know, the things we take with us after this life are not the cars we owned, the clothes we wore, or the houses we lived in. It is our relationships with our Father in Heaven and those around us, the testimony that we cultivate, and the knowledge that we acquire. As I consider the relationships I have with those around me, I wonder if I am doing enough to love, serve, and forgive them. The one I want to focus more on is forgiveness. The Lord tells us, "I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men". (D&C 64:10). Truly forgiving someone for a past offense was something difficult for me to do, and it is still taking some work. Forgiveness takes complete love and humility, and trust in our Savior. As I have learned to forgive those who have hurt me, I find more peace with myself. I am happier. I seem to seek forgiveness more earnestly from those who I have hurt, and I find myself seeking out those who have hurt me. It is a change within me that has not come easy, but as I do this I find life much easier to deal with. Grudges and anger hurt my personal growth more than anything else. How can I progress if I limit myself to something so trivial? As we work to forgive others, and seek forgiveness, we can rest assured that we do not have to do it alone. Christ says to "Take my yoke upon you. . . For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light" (Matt 11: 29-30). He can help us to forgive when it seems impossible on our own. It makes all the difference to forgive, forget, learn, and move forward. A lesson that I will forever be grateful for.

Our attitudes shape the way we react and think about things. It can make or break any situation. It can slow us down or help us progress faster than we can realize. Our attitudes now determine what our future will bring, for we bring it upon ourselves. Alma teaches that same principle: what we put into it, we will get out. "...one raised to happiness according to his desires of happiness, or good according to his desires of good; and the other to evil according to his desires of evil;" (Alma 41:5). As I think of the attitude that I can have, I often associate it with "faith". To have faith is to hope for things we do not see, but not only to hope and believe but to act. Hoping is only the first part of it, it must be followed through with works in accordance to what we say we believe. Often times, it is "much easier said, than done". I find myself asking "Why did this happen?" instead of "What can I learn from this?". It is unfortunate that lives end so abruptly and soon. That bad things happen to good, innocent people. It is not God punishing us. We chose His plan, a plan of happiness and salvation with the gift of our agency. Agency to choose good or evil. To choose happiness or misery. Those taken from us in innocence are in better hands now, they are being taken care of. I am sure that they are more sorry for us who are left behind! We must rejoice in the knowledge we have that our God is a God of love, a love that we cannot even begin to comprehend in our mortal state. Our minds are too finite for that. His love is eternal. I know my friends and family that have gone on are watching over me today, cheering for me to do the best that I can to return to them once more! How great a thought that is. If we but only push forward with "faith, hope, charity and love, with an eye single to the glory of God" (D&C 4:5), we can do all things. "For this life is a time for men to prepare to meet God" (Alma 34:32).

Serving others has brought a joy to me that cannot be substituted. The act of completely forgetting oneself to better the life of another is so fulfilling. I notice a difference in myself and those around me when I make that conscious effort to step outside of my "comfort zone". I have been told that others have noticed a "difference" in me, growth in the time they've known me. I can only assume it is because I am trying to align my life in accordance with what I have learned over 20 years, and to fully put it into action. I have been able to make more friends and be strengthened in my efforts to work hard and serve the Lord. I share this because it has been an eye opening experience for me. I was always soooo shy. I was very quiet. I was never willing to step outside my box and experience the joys that laid beyond the walls of what I always knew. Through something as simple as service, it can open doors of understanding to deeper concepts and principles. Serving requires love, loving requires service, and because we are human, they both require forgiveness. It is a cycle of life, and if we grasp that concept we can notice a truly different spin on the way we live our lives. The level of happiness that can be felt will heighten.

As I end, I would like to summarize what I have come to learn and understand on a deeper level:

- Love strongly, serve faithfully, and forgive completely.
- Live as though tomorrow will never come
- Push down the walls that confine us to "comfort", and find strength in what lays beyond
- Find joy in weakness and imperfection, they allow us room to grow
- Don't regret it, learn from it
- Everyone needs a friend
- I am nothing without my Savior
- God is real.

Thank you, Travis.
God be with you, till we meet again.

Just A Little Appreciation

2008-07-21T12:44:00.004-07:00

I just thought I'd take a moment and tell everyone that I am in love with my feather comforter. Yes, its true. Our wonderful relationship began two years ago, on an early Christmas morning. To be honest, its hard to imagine life before I met what was soon to be my dear, dear friend.

Many nights my comforter has comforted me in times of need. Its delectable puffiness is quite hard to resist. Coming home to jump in bed and wrap myself in my comforter is hard to resist, after a long strenuous day at work (much like today). My friends- who've been lucky enough to cuddle with my dear comforter- can attest to its amazing quality. They openly admit how much they wish they only had a comforter as nice as mine. I often ask myself how I slept before, but quickly dismiss those thoughts. They aren't very nice ones.

Props go to my amazing mother and father. They know me so well, it was only obvious they knew what would match my interests and personality. I hope that one day, everyone can experience the wonderful opportunity of having their own feather comforter.

Trust me, its worth it.

Work Work Work

2008-05-30T13:56:00.006-07:00

Since today is my day back to work, they decide to make it the day with the largest amount of orders. Yeah. . . talk about a stack. The can of Chicken Noodle Soup was used to show just how large it was (Props to Diana :) This takes a loooong time to do. Its very boring. Shout out goes to great musicians in the world who keep my mind occupied and alert. And, well, entertained. I'm gonna throw this out there, you can take it, or throw it back... but I'm very excited for this day at work to be over. Yay for the weekends and not being sick!!!!

The positives of stacks this size:

-I get to stay real busy ALL day

-Company stays in good business

-I can practice creativity in my writing

-It's important to get done asap, which keeps me away from the phones most of the day

PS- the stacks are usually 1/4 this size

Sick Days

2008-05-30T12:07:00.003-07:00

I woke up Wednesday morning very sick. I won't go into too many details, but let's just say I really bonded with a good ol' friend. (Note: not my actual toilet) I haven't been this sick in years, so it wasn't very fun. Not like it would make it more fun if it happened more often, but it really made me appreciate the days I am healthy.

Being sick also highlights some of the great friends, and family, I have. Mad props to Lisa Andrews and Diana Lilly for being their amazing selves. Lisa supported me with some Sprite, which tastes MUCH better than water when you're sick. Diana brought over some chicken noodle soup, and a really cool gift. These girls are freakin sweet!! Boys, whoever ends up with either will definitely be the lucky ones!! My mom is amazing as well, providing jello, soup and a movie. Along with a sister who stayed to comfort me. You guys rock.

Today, I am back to work. It's funny how you can still have thoughts in the back of your head wishing you could be sick to not go to work, when in reality you were just REALLY sick and it was completely miserable. . .Oh well. On my way to 100% recovery. Nearing the goal as we speak, er. . . I mean as I type.

It feels good to be taken care of. It doesn't happen like this very often, and frankly I am happy for that. It may have been very simple acts of kindness that anyone would do for a sick friend, but it made all the difference to me. When it doesn't happen every day, I learn to truly appreciate the times it does, and the people involved. So, again, thank you very much!!! :)

The End.

My Mother

2008-05-12T11:14:00.003-07:00

". . .Yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them." Alma 56:47

Considering yesterday was Mother's Day, I would like to take a moment and express my gratitude for the woman I call Mother.

30 Reasons why my mom is amazing! :

1. She is the most selfless person I know
2. She is determined to succeed, and always does her best
3. She loves me, and my family
4. Her relationship with my dad is a great example
5. She buys me milk, bread, or cereal at times when I really need it
6. She makes me laugh... a lot
7. She is one of my best friends
8. She loves the Gospel
9. Her testimony is strong
10. She's sacrificed so much for me
11. Her encouragement gives me motivation
12. She really isn't the meanest mom :)
13. She makes rockin green chile
14. She motivates and encourages
15. She doesn't judge
16. She loves unconditionally
17. She's way creative, and can build lots of things
18. She's an amazing cake builder/maker/decorater
19. She loves to travel
20. She taught me about sacrifice
21. She taught me how to unconditionally love your husband, by example
22. She snorts when she's tired
23. She is random
24. All my friends love her
25. She made my halloween costumes when I was younger :)
26. She can sing
27. She knows how to work hard
28. She introduced me to my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ
29. There is no one else like her
30. I'll be with her forever!!!

I could go on and on and on and on. . . . . but I won't. The bottom line is, I am eternally grateful for her example that she has been in my life. I'm grateful for the great friendship we share, even though I am responsible for some of her gray hairs. She is amazing! I hope I can be like her one day. I hope somehow I can repay her for all she has done for me.

I love you, Mom!

Today

2008-05-07T13:51:00.001-07:00

"There are two days in every week about which we should not worry; two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension. One of these days is 'Yesterday' with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back 'Yesterday'. We cannot undo a single act we performed, we cannot erase a single word said. 'Yesterday' is gone! The other day we should not worry about is 'Tomorrow' with its possible burden, its large promise and poor performance. 'Tomorrow' is also beyond our immediate control. Tomorrow's sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds - but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in 'Tomorrow', for it is yet unborn. This leaves only one day - 'Today'! Any man can fight the battle of just one day. It is only when you and I have the burdens in these two awful extremities - 'Yesterday' and 'Tomorrow' - that we break down. It is not the experience of 'Today' that drives men mad - it is the remorse or bitterness about something which happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring. Let us therefore live but only one day at a time!"
-Unknown Author

Quotes for Thought

2008-04-21T08:43:00.004-07:00

"Stand for something, or you will fall for anything"
I do not remember where I heard this or whom to give recognition. It is one of my favorite quotes because the words are so simple and so true. If we do not hold fast and strong for anything in this life, we can be tossed about by anything and everyone around us. As members of the church we are taught at an early age how to gain testimonies and nurture our seed of faith. If we have a testimony that Joseph Smith saw God the Father and His son, Jesus Christ, and translated the Book of Mormon, then we have a very sturdy foundation and we are standing for something. If we believe that, then by default we can have the faith to believe that Christ lives, that there is life after death, that He will come again. The scriptures tell the truthfulness of it. I know that as we stand for truth, God will give us the strength to overcome the world we live in.
"Discerning and accepting the will of God in our lives are fundamental elements of asking in faith in meaningful prayer. However, simply saying the words “Thy will be done” is not enough. Each of us needs God’s help in surrendering our will to Him." (David A. Bednar, Ask In Faith, Conference Apr 08)
This is something I am still figuring out how to do. I sometimes find myself asking for ways that my will can come to pass, rather than understanding and strength for the Lord's will. I have learned that our life really is in the Lord's hands, and in His time. I definitely don't understand everything, or why things happen the way they do. Not now at least. Looking back, I can see why things have happened the way they did. I know that even though I have struggles now, I will see the outcome of them if I can be strong and ask in faith for the Lord to strengthen me and for His will to be done.
“Let us not live a life … that would bring regret. … It is not going to matter very much how much money you made, what kind of a house you lived in, what kind of a car you drove, the size of your bank account—any of those things. What is going to matter is that dear woman who has walked with you side by side as your companion through all of the years of life and those children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren and their faithfulness and their looking to you … with respect and love and deference and kindness. … The only things you will take with you, when all is said and done, are your family relationships. … God bless us to be good fathers, … good parents, and good husbands to our good wives” (Gordon B. Hinckely, meeting, Pleasant Grove, Utah, Jan. 18, 2003).
We can be so consumed by our day to day lives that we overlook the simple and precious miracles all around us! Gordon B. Hinckley states this very well. We will not take anything physical with us to the next life, so we should do all in our power to strengthen our relationships with family and those around us and attain as much knowledge as we can. I like to reference this quote to my earlier blog on the story of Mary and Martha. I think the principles taught can go hand in hand.
"Don't regret it, learn from it." (Me)
This is something I like to tell myself, and have used in many conversations. I don't believe that things happen by "coincidence". I believe there is a purpose behind everything, whether or not we come to realize it in the moment or five years down the road. Don't mistake me, I don't believe in destiny or the term "soul mate". I know we all have agency with the room to make our own choices. These choices are led by the true desires of our heart, the person who we truly are. So if we've made a choice, wether good or bad, we should acknowledge that we made it. There is no turning back, the only way we can press forward it to learn and to act on what we have learned. The past does not define who we are, its who we become. What we put into it.
"A woman of faith trusts God and faces adversity with hope. A woman of faith is confident because she understands the divine plan of our Heavenly Father and her role to bless lives. A woman of faith is fearless. She fears no evil, for God is with her... A woman of faith loves the Lord... by the life she lives, by the words she speaks, by the service she renders to His children, by her every action." (Margaret D. Nadauld, A Woman of Faith, Liahona Nov, 2002)
This whole talk is amazing, I advise each one of my fellow sisters to read it! It is inspiring and speaks to each and every one of us. You can feel your worth through this sister's words.
"I have been driven many times upon my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go. My own wisdom and that of all about me seemed insufficient for that day." (Abraham Lincoln)
My dear friend Lisa has shared this quote with me on a few different occassions. I have come to share that same appreciation for it that she does. Honest Abe and I have something in common. I've come to learn (yes, the hard way) I am absolutely NOTHING without a loving Father in Heaven, and His son Jesus Christ. Without the power and privilege of prayer I would have stayed a lost sheep a long time ago.
"If you look at what you don't have in life, you have nothing, but if you look at what you do have in life, you have everything."
I have the Gospel. I have a temple to attend often. I have my family. I have friends. I have a Father who holds the Priesthood worthily. I have a testimony. I have a Father in Heaven who loves me, and an elder brother who laid down His life for me. I think I'm pretty well taken care of :)
"The only way out is through"
"If the Lord will bring you to it, He will bring you through it."
That's the truth.
"Don't be a scrub! Rise to the high ground of spiritual, mental, and physical excellence. You can do it. You may not be a genius. You may be lacking in some skills. But so many of us can do better than we are now doing...We are people with a present and with a future. Don't muff your opportunities. Be excellent." (Gordon B. Hinckley, The Quest for Excellence, Ensign, Sept. 1999, 4-5)
What more do you need to hear than this? We should constantly be workin on improving ourselves! I know I need as much help and work as I can get. Be excellent.
"Be grateful. Be smart. Be clean. Be true. Be humble. Be prayerful." (Gordon B. Hinckley, A Prophet's Counsel and Prayer for Youth, New Era, Jan. 2001)
Need I say more? He's telling us plainly how we should be. The formula is simple, but requires action on our end. Everything good in life takes a bit of hard work!

That Good Part

2008-04-18T15:48:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite stories in the scriptures is found in the New Testament, in the book of Luke. It is only a few verses long, Chapter 10 verses 38-42. Martha and Mary, two sisters, welcome Jesus into their home. He begins to teach, and Mary sits at his feet to listen to His words. As Mary sits, Martha is up and about trying to tidy the house, and prepare dinner and make things just right for their very special guest. As she noticed Mary just sitting, she said "Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me." She didn't understand why Jesus would allow Mary to just sit, and not be up helping her prepare everything. In response "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her."

These two sisters both had very good intentions. Martha wanted to make the home clean and prepare everything nicely for Christ. Mary wanted to sit and hear the word of Christ. The thing to consider is, do the trivial things from day to day often take precedence over the more important, and eternal aspects of our lives? As I consider this, I realize how much effort I put into stressing about things that shouldn't be stressed about. Taking time to clean my house, or do the laundry is important. Going to school, work and fitting time into my schedule for homework is important. But it is not more important than studying my scriptures, going to church, partaking of the sacrament, attending institute, and taking time to improve myself and becoming a better Elena.

I was able to use this story to my advantage this past semester. It was my second year being in the Easter Pageant, and I was going to school and working. My mornings would start around 6 am, with either school or work, and I'd be lucky to get to bed before 1 am. I'd have around an hour between work/school to get ready and check off things from my To-Do List before heading over to the temple for a practice/performance. The first few days had wore me out. I'd find myself getting agitated with what little time I had to study, clean my room and even put my clothes in the dirty clothes hamper. Besides the lack of sleep, a few very unexpected events happened, and I was faced with some very difficult trials that seemed very heavy to carry.

I'm not writing this for anyone to feel one bit sorry for me, because I don't feel that way at all. I learned something very valuable this past Easter season. One night in particular I was pre-greeting with a fellow cast member, and she started talking about some things that were difficult for her as she made the sacrifice to be there. It hit me at that moment that we all had our own trials and that time was precious to everyone. It was humbling as I looked at my trials, and then to the families with numerous children, or the newlywed who worked two jobs, or the new mom who just had a baby. I felt like I had it easy.

The point of me sharing that is to express my gratitude for being in the pageant. I realized that all who were there each and every night had chosen to be there. We chose to sacrifice our time and our energy to bear our testimonies of the Savior through acting, dancing, and singing. We put our lives on hold for two months for such an amazing missionary experience. I've had impressions, and felt things that will have a lasting effect on me. The Spirit was so strong, and I know that everyone who attended felt it, whether or not they knew what it was. What a marvelous thing to me to be able to share my love and gratitude for my Savior, Jesus Christ, through dancing. I have danced for years and participated in many different programs. I get sick with nerves and anxiety before I perform, despite the years of experience, but every night at the pageant was calming to me. I didn't feel nervous once. I knew it was the Spirit that was there, helping us to share the message to the thousands that attended.

I was blessed with the opportunity of my extended family being there. Some were here on vacation from out of state, but made time in their schedules to come. I know that it was mainly to support me since they had never seen me perform; but I also knew that just by them being there- for whatever reason- they would feel the Spirit. To add, they are non-members. After the performance, I went out to talk with them and see what they thought. They gave very positive feedback about what they liked and what impressed them. Someone very dear to me had grown up a member, but had grown apart from the church through the years. They came to the pageant, and when I asked what their favorite part was they responded that they liked the part where Christ was on the cross. I asked why and they said it was very powerful, and even though they didn't voice it, I could see in their eyes that it had affected them. To see my dear friends and family respond to it in that way made the sacrifice to be there all worth it. If all it did was to awake their hearts and minds to the feelings of the Spirit proved to me that what I was doing was right. The last week or so didn't become less busier or stressful, but I was able to push on with new strength.

We had chosen that good part. I could go on and on with memories and experiences from this past Easter season, and even more that don't revolve around the pageant. However, my message to each and every one of us to reflect on our lives as it is happening around us. Ask ourselves: Am I choosing that good part, daily? Am I putting my time and energy into something that will make me a better me such as diligent scripture study? Am I serving those in need, being a friend to those who don't have many, or being and example to those who just don't know? I want my answer to be that I am choosing the good part, I am diligently reading my scriptures and reaching out to those who just need a hand. By doing this, I know that we can all become closer to our Savior, Jesus Christ. In all the commotion of our busy lives, He is there to lead and guide us. When things get tough or you feel alone, know that He is there. In Matthew 11:28-30 He speaks "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly of heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light". We can make the necessary changes in our lives, and know that what we are doing is right. He will never turn his back on us. It is my testimony and prayer that He lives, Amen.

Camping Season has begun...

2008-04-14T11:21:00.004-07:00

I recently went camping this weekend with a few of the best people I know. Me and a friend had been planning the trip for about a month now, and we were going to the location I grew up camping = White River. We didn't want to stay only one night, since it was a 3 1/2 hour drive. I've come to realize that people don't camp much these days. When telling people we were camping for 3 days they were astounded- What are you going to do for THREE whole days?! My question is- What NOT are you going to do? No cell phone, work, school or stress. What is better than that? Yes. Luckily my great friend B-rad is as passionate about camping as I am.

The group we had together was a fun one, about 8 people. Two weeks before the date to leave we added even two more. This was going to be spectacular, and a great start to a season full of camping. The week before we were supposed to go, a few people backed out. The week OF the trip, a couple more backed out. We were down to 4 lucky souls. Brad, Matt, Lisa and myself. Lesson learned= you can't really rely on people. Lesson already learned= our group was amazing!! We had experienced California in September of 07, and knew we had a heck of a time together. Despite our original game plan... this new one worked out rather nicely.

Since I wanted to be there at least 3 days, Brad and I headed up early Friday morning. We reached our designated spot after only a few "scenic detours". Once we were on the right road, we had almost crossed the bridge to our campground when a squirrel darted across the dirt road. Brad slammed on his brakes, and pulled out his 40. Yes, more target practice. BAM. His aim is really good. After a few camera shots, we were on our way again.

We set up camp rather quickly and to our luck there was only one other group of campers up the river from us. We had nature to ourselves the WHOLE weekend. We spent the last couple hours of daylight fishing, which brought no reward besides some friendly bonding time. It started getting dark, and the temperatures were dropping rapidly. I grew up in the desert part of Arizona, so me and the cold don't get along. A fire was quickly made and my hands and toes were happy. . . momentarily. As Brad and I were enjoying the nature and getting ready for our friends to join us, Lisa and Matt had departed and were on their way to meet us. They left at 6:30 that night, expecting to meet up with us no later than 10. So when 10 came around, we were excited to see our friends. Time went by, the weather got colder, and we got sleepy. Midnight struck and we were faced with two choices:

1) Go look for them, resulting in the possibility of their finding our camp spot and not knowing its ours.

2) Get some sleep. If they find us, it will be a lot later. If they don't find us, they will find somewhere to sleep overnight and we will find them easier in the daylight.

We chose option number 2. As soon as we got on the road, we found them!! Woohoo. Party time.

The next day was filled will more unsuccessful fishing. I don't get why those dang fish aren't
smarter and know to bite worms that are generously put in the water for them, unable to get away. However, that afternoon, as I was about to lay my head down for a nap, Matt decided to entertain us. He has a friend that can do standing back tucks. Matt can do back flips, so he figured he'd be able to perform one of these tricks just as simply. He asked Lisa to spot him. . . she's never spotted before. Brad pulls out his camera, wanting to capture this moment on film. Here he goes. 1. . . 2. . . 3. . FLip. . . bam. Awww choot. I am almost positive you are supposed to land on your feet, but Matt decided to land on his face. I knew it, I envisioned that happening before he did it. I thought- Great, I've been to the ER in Show Low twice before, now we're making it a third! Brad and I came to the conclusion that guys and girls think completely differently about the same situation. My thoughts before Matt flipped - Landing on his face. Or his neck, possibly breaking it and being paralyzed, or worse. . . Brad's thoughts- Sweet he's gonna flip and totally land it. If he can do it standing, lets see him do it off the tailgate of my truck. We've changed the story a little bit. From the video, its obvious Lisa was just trying out her kung fu moves on Matt and totally flipped him over onto his face. Lisa should be given her blackbelt by now.

We went fishing up at Hawley Lake later that evening with the last few hours of day light. It was chilly, and there was still snow patches around the lake. Unsuccessful fishing once again. Between Lisa trying to throw Matt in the snow and Brad and I catching lady bugs and crawdads, we made the most of it. As we walked around the lake- which was beautiful by the way- we saw a guy and his dad with like 10 fish they caught. In the same location as us! What were we doing wrong. . .

That last night was filled with laughter, random thoughts, spaghetti, stale s'mores, Sobe bombs and cold toes. Turned out to be mighty fine. Once again, the four of us had one spectacular trip!

The Garden

2008-04-04T11:45:00.000-07:00

I just want to take a moment and brag about how I have one of the COOLEST and most amazing friends in the world!! He is Terrific with a capital T. A few months ago he planted me a garden, and it is making some sweet progress! The garden consists of: pumpkins, watermelon, cantaloupe, cucumber, lettuce, tomatoes, strawberries, carrots and bell pepper. Whoa, did I leave anything out? I guess the question is what NOT did he plant? So I have taken pictures of this beautiful garden in progress. Twice. The first shoot was on the day of March 10, 2008. About 3 weeks after it was planted. Note that each plant looks the same here. The seedlings don't really differ except in size. Exciting, but just wait. Here are a few shots. . .

This one to the right is the whole garden. From the front its the pumpkin, and going back it follows the list I made in the first paragraph. These are just the first sprouts, and I felt like a proud parent! I had done something right, and they were growing strong :)

These are the beginnings of the tomato plants. They didn't start out as seeds from the time he planted them. They were a few inches smaller than they are in this picture. It is 3 different types of tomato plants, I only know the far right one is a cherry tomato plant and the far left one is called Beefy tomato or something like that. Supposedly they are very large ones. Ideally used on sandwiches. Yummm....

To the right are the first batch of strawberries that came out. They started coming fast, and there were a lot all over the whole plant. They didn't get very large, not too much bigger than shown in the picture. When they started to color and turn red, I became STOKED. Our very own homegrown strawberries. Double Yummy. As a side note: the first harvest was delicious. After that they just started dwindling down. I'm not sure what went wrong, but we both agreed the taste was better than any other store bought strawberry we've had before. Homegrown = muy bueno.

Now, prepare to see what this garden has become as of this 21st day of April, 2008? Behold. . . The Garden!!! Notice how the pumpkin plants are trying to overtake the rest of the garden. We ended up having to improvise a fence so they didn't mix with the watermelon or cantaloupe. My pride rests with the pumpkins and the tomatoes. Also notice them in the far back, they've grown quite a bit! Its like they are on Viagra, er. . . I mean Miracle Grow. We pollenated the pumpkins by hand. There is a male flower and a female flower. The female flower has the fruit behind it, and it blooms for only one day, so you have to keep your eyes peeled. Otherwise you lose them. The female flower has pollen stems inside in a circular pattern. The male flower has a single pollen stem. I'm sure you can guess how this process would be done. . .

Here is one of the pumpkins (right). This made me very happy to see. They are growing really fast. The fruit is only about the size of a marble before you pollenate it, and its gotten this big in just a couple days! The tomatoes are kicking butt. Here are the beefy ones (left). And below are the cherry ones. Eventually they will turn red. Voila! Then they will be ready to eat :)

So, I guess you could say my dear, dear friend is pretty cool! I know everyone wishes they had as cool a friend as I've got, but you'll just have to find your own cool friend. There's a lot out there. Don't worry, you'll find a cool one soon enough :)

Randomnessity

2008-03-26T10:14:00.000-07:00

I always thought to have a blog you have to write about something amazing. Well, I've noticed that isn't always the case. So hey, I thought I'd give it a shot. Writing isn't my biggest strength, but here goes some random thoughts to start it out!

Camping is Terrific with a capital T. If you like camping, then you're cool. I like camping, therefore I am cool. If I said, "Hey, do you like camping?" And you responded, "Heck yes I do!" Then you've made the Cool list. Cool people are just cool. So, if you are cool, and I am cool, and we both like camping, lets be cool together and camp. Hurray for warm weather in AZ.

There's something about the fresh air, the tall trees, the billions of stars visible at night, the sound of the babbling creek as you take a nap, no stress about any upcoming tests, and squirrels who squeak at you if you are too close to their tree. Yes they do get upset if you are too close. I went on an excursion into the Grand Ol' Rim up north a few months back. I was able to see elk, bears and squirrels. Many of them. As we were coming up on some elk, a squirrel got very upset we decided to sit next to its tree. Sadly, we had no bb gun to silence the noise. However, we were able to stay hidden and no harm done. Back from the tangent, I love how different it feels to be completely surrounded by forest, with no calls/texts to return. Just me and mother nature. Along with some good friends and SOBE bombs :) Hurray for warm weather AND camping in AZ.

SIXLETS. Mmmmazing candy. I loved it when I was 5 and I love it now just the same. I recently found some at the local candy store called Fuzzywigs (spelling?). I was so excited to see this long lost friend and gobble it up. I was even happier when shopping at Wal-Mart for groceries when I came upon a bag of sixlets in the Easter candy isle. Sweet! So, I bought some. I offered Lisa some the other day and she refused, as well as the last few people I've offered. I'm sure Brad still wonders why I can't understand why people aren't as excited about them as I am. I think the fact that there are more than 6 sixlets in each package throws a lot of people off. It is misleading, but that shouldn't stop anyone from enjoying their delectable goodness. Try telling Lisa that, she still won't give in. Sigh. I guess I shall eat them all alone.

Small town aren't always as great as they seem. I know that firsthand. I don't like to admit this to very many people, but here goes for the world to see...I grew up in Superior, Arizona. Phew, I said it. Yes, the town that takes two minutes to drive through and had only one stoplight that was taken out not too long ago due to the expenses of keeping it working. That was a sad day in Superior. Its also the town that was a sight to where a few movies were filmed, including Eight Legged Freaks. Ever seen it? Don't. U-turn, seen it? Don't. Rated R for RIDICULOUS!! Or so I've been told. Even though its fame from movies has been made, it doesn't make a difference if the movies are duds. If you think small towns shelter children, think again. The only thing I was sheltered about was to how many LDS people there were in the world, and only a 40 min drive away! There were times when my family made up the whole primary. There's only 6 children in my family. So I guess you could say it was a shock when I moved and went to church where the ward was split at least 5 times within the first couple years I lived there. There were good times in Superior. The scenery is beautiful, although at the time I strongly disliked desert and couldn't understand the need for cactus. Actually, I still don't. Why do people landscape their yard with cactus? Especially when they have children. Just another mystery to me. Back to scenery, it was free roam growing up. I still remember getting lost with my brother and his friend in a place that was off limits. We even hid from the workers so we wouldn't get in trouble, despite wanting to be found and close to dehydration. Alas, we gave in and were found. Luckily. I've never been forced to drink so much water in my life after that. Hiking, exploring, camping, building forts, catching animals, daring to walk through the cemetary at night, riding bikes, eating at the local DQ (which was amazing, but is now closed down), getting lost and playing with mud were the highlights of growing up in Superior. I do recommend hiking the Picket Post, the big mountain just west of the town. Its a great hike with a spectacular view!

For now, that is it. I must be getting back to life. Doing what I do best.